Agents of SHIELD: Bad Decisions
by Alasse Fefalas
Summary: Spoilers for end of season 1! May's guilt for Fitz's condition overwhelms her when she finds herself alone in the medical room with Simmons. (One-shot)


**Bad decisions**

By Alasse Fefalas

May stood at the corner opposite the door of the small room, her face hard and emotionless as she listened to the rhythmic mechanical beeps. Her eyes stared at the pale face, almost willing him to open his eyes, to be ok.

But Fitz wasn't ok. He had been laying in that bed for 3 weeks now, unmoving and unresponding.

"He's too young to die," she thought for the thousandth time. "Wake up, Fitz. Please."

The sound of light footsteps pulled May out of her thoughts. Her head snapped towards the door when it opened. "May!" Simmons said in surprise when she came in. "I didn't know you were back already. Didn't think I'd find you here."

May gave her a small smile. "I just came in to check on Fitz," she said. There was no need for the scientist to know that she came in everyday and left before Simmons arrived at half past 2, both of them like clockwork. May left her corner and walked over to join the younger woman at the foot of the bed.

Simmons' smile faded slightly. "He's still the same. I can't get a response out of him and I don't know why. Oh how I wish he was here to help me," she said sadly.

"You'll figure it out," May said as she gave Simmons an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure."

"Thank you, May." Simmons took a deep breath and a flurry of words came out of her. "He was so ready to go out into the field, you know. When we first got the missive that we were joining Coulson. Couldn't believe it. He was so happy. Literally jumped up and down. I was terrified of the field. We were safe in the Academy. The field was a whole huge monster. But Fitz... he was so excited." Simmons stopped and sighed, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I was afraid he would get hurt..."

"Simmons," May started but stopped short when the other girl shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I was supposed to be checking on Fitz."

Nodding, May folded her arms and watched Simmons check the status of the machines by Fitz's bed and take down the numbers. A heavy guilt weighed her down when she saw the look Simmons gave Fitz when she checked his temperature. She knew she had to apologise.

"I'm sorry," May said suddenly.

Simmons turned to May. "What?" she asked, her brows furrowed together in confusion.

"I'm sorry," May repeated.

"Um, Agent May? Did you just apologise to me?"

"To both you and Fitz. It's my fault that both of you are here, and my fault that Fitz is here in this bed."

"It wasn't you who ejected us out of the plane..."

May winced. It was true - it was Ward. But it was her fault that Ward was in the team in the first place. "I assembled the team. I shouldn't have put your names in the list," she said. "I knew it was a risk to put two young scientists on the Bus but the two of you were the best candidates in SHIELD."

"We are not a risk, and I think we have proved ourselves enough!" Simmons argued hotly.

May put up a hand to stop her. "Not a risk to the team. A risk for yourselves. You were - are - not combat-trained. I couldn't guarantee your safety. I was supposed to protect you two." May glanced at Fitz. "And I did a pretty bad job of it."

Simmons grabbed May's hand and dragged her to Fitz's bedside, much to May's surprise. Gently, Simmons placed her hand over his chest. "He's still alive," Simmons said softly. "Fitz is still alive. And he WILL wake up."

"Simmons, I..."

"And if we were still at the Academy, we would have perished when Hydra attacked so I think it was a good decision," Simmons smiled.

May gave her a small smile. She closed her eyes and let her hand feel the rhythmic rise and fall of Fitz's chest - a reminder that the Engineer was indeed still alive. Slowly, she opened her eyes and lifted her hand off his chest. She looked at Simmons and gave her a nod. "You'll report at the hangar tomorrow at 8am."

"What?" Simmons asked, confused at the sudden instruction.

"I'll be training you with Skye starting tomorrow," May said in a deadpan voice.

"Uh, no, I think I'm fine, thanks."

"You want to be in the field, don't you? I have to make sure you at least have a fighting chance," May said, her voice softening a little. "Then you'd be able to protect Fitz too."

Simmons stared at her for a while before nodding meekly.

"Good. Tomorrow. Hangar. 8am sharp," May nodded before walking out of medical bay. It night have been a bad decision to have recommended them, but at least this way, she could make up for it.

Fin.

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><p>AN: Ok, I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything and I'm sorry. Haven't had inspiration for a long time now but this one suddenly popped up from nowhere. It isn't Philinda but I felt the need to write something May-centric. Turned out different from what I envisioned it though, hahaha. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!


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